Sunday, August 2, 2015

The FOREST

After many, many moons of being away, I felt none too relaxed about this truancy, and like some wayward shadow, I sneaked home and through the back door. This gave me enough time to make it to my office and sit down at my desk. Then came the expected knock on the door. Knowing what I was in store for, I took a deep breath, one styled in a slight grimace..

"Come in, Bollero," I said expectantly.

The door opened and there stood my butler, impeccably attired in his butler garb. But Bollero was more than my butler. He also helped me with my blogging and kept on top of my followers, and when we were alone together, our discussions were always quite informal and to the point.

Bollero entered the office in his typical manner of propriety, but no smile. He looked none too relaxed himself. Then closing the door, he took on a more informal demeanor and said, with a dogged grimace of his own, "Gerald, where the hell have you been?...So long, no word, and..."

"I know...I know," I said, a weary tone as I gestured a hand above the desk. "And the followers are going APE!...Right?"

"You're quite the mind reader."

"Too much so. Anyway, this unfortunate lapse couldn't have been helped. Life has its unexpected demands...and they're driving me ragged! You're lucky I'm even here now."

A hint of brightness took hold of Bollero's dark eyes. "So let's take advantage of it," he said, his voice suddenly clamorous. "Get out a quick posting...a new blog bringing the haggard followers, and others, up to speed and off our backs." Bollero quickly grabbed a large note pad and pen from the top of the desk. "All right, I'm ready. What do you want to say to them?"

"Nothing."

"NOTHING?!...How can there be NOTHING?!"

"It requires creative genius to say nothing. NOTHING is bliss. So think of all the bliss I've brought to many over this past year."

Bollero gawked at me as his mouth dropped open, his eyes disbelieving, their brightness gone. "BLISS?!...Have you ever been drove ragged! You should read these DAMN letters! They're climbing the walls now. No WAY this crowd will stand still for your nothing!"

"Nothing is better than bull."

"But THAT'S what they want, man! They NEED and CRAVE bullshit! And you're the master at it. Some say your humorous bullshit can't be beat!"

"I don't feel humorous."

"Ah, so that's it --- your MOOD. There's the answer. We need to get you in a better mood. Okay. What say I mix you a nice, relaxing martini?"

"With olives?"

"You bet. Gin or vodka?

"Vodka. I want to get in a Rasputin mood. So go easy on the vermouth."

Bollero wasted no time pushing a button on my console, ordering the proper ingredients. In no time they were delivered by the maid, whom Bollero thanked, then rushed off. Hastily, but making certain he did it correctly, Bollero made the martini with a devilish grin of triumph.

When he handed me the drink, I immediately gulped down the first few sips, then slowly my reluctant edge began easing away, and I felt more receptive to Bollero's questioning.

"Okay, now that you're enjoying your martini, I can see that better mood coming on, so give me something to write down--- anything, but none of that nothing bit," Bollero said with expectancy, his pen and pad ready.

"Well, I'm thinking of how hard it is to see the forest."

Bollero didn't dare interrupt my train of thought, so went along with what I said. "Because of the trees?"

"Yeah, THAT'S IT. Those damn trees that kept creeping in. Before their intrusion, I could see the whole forest clearly. So majestic! Its beauty awe-inspiring and transcending! Revitalizing the soul! But then those weird trees began popping up all over, hindering and distorting my view of the grand forest, those weird trees polluting and entangling everything around them, as if on a separate and deviate mission of their own, with everyone hugging these weird trees, like they hug the bullshit you spoke of earlier. Madness!"

"Is that the grabber you intend to induce the reader with?" Bollero finally questioned in puzzlement.

"Don't worry, you'll get your martini's worth. No, the grabber is in reading my gripping love/action thriller, OF GOOD AND EVIL, with its captivating romance, the book available in the U.S. at http://www.amazon.com/dp/160976014X ; in the UK at http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/160976014X . The novel gives you a clear and wondrous view of this enchanting forest and its transcending beauty. That's true bliss!






4 comments:

  1. Not since Seinfeld scored with an entire show about NOTHING,has there been such a brilliant discussion about NOTHING that is really about EVERYTHING. Pour me a martini, darling...and whisper a few sweet nothings in my ear!

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    1. Ah, my darling Cupcake, here is your refreshing martini, double olives. and such a lovely ear into which to whisper sweet nothings, the first of which is, "You see the forest so clearly."The second whispering, "Would you like to see my trees? They so beat my etchings." The third, "The promise of the martini matches that of your lovely eyes." The fourth sweet nothing I dare not put into print here, though your cuddly moans make that unnecessary in this deepest part of the forest with the enchanting brook murmuring its delight with my whispering.

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  2. Oh Gerald, Shane Porteous here, what you have given us is far more than nothing my friend, for with this post you have given us more of your writing to read and that can NEVER be called nothing. Your words are like gold my friend, regardless of the carat of the post, they will always be valuable

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    1. Shane, thank you, my perceptive one, for your gracious words, and for being such an enhancement to the wondrous forest. If, as you say, my words are like gold, then may others follow your lead in mining this gold, and in doing so be blessed by the awakening and transcending value of the forest's breathtaking beauty!

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